Monday, May 11, 2009

Granite

In the heart of your eye is stone

granite, flecked with mica; impassable
rough but for one corner, polished smooth
where my hand rests in its habitual way
each time I linger, caressing every moment

In the eye of your heart is stone

impervious, you thought, but see how warm,
how feral-scented it has become along the curve
where I pressed my back, curled tight naked
as a forest creature deeply burrowed

Rachel Westfall
May 11, 2009

17 comments:

Poetikat said...

No one does these scenes so well as you, Rachel!

I love the inversion of the first and fifth line.

Kat

Karen said...

I envy you your ability to capture the essence of the relationship. I admire the structure of this one, too.

Kyddryn said...

Oh, lovely...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Woman in a Window said...

Lost count on how many times I read this one out loud. I'm always amazed when so few words manipulated so well renders such strong meaning. Yes, the inversion, and more.

Lisa said...

my day is no longer complete without you rachel- i read everyday xx

RachelW said...

Kat, thank you! I'm glad that worked for you. I'm never sure, when I do it... bit it seemed right, this time.

Karen, it seems like just a fragment of what makes up a whole relationship....

Kyddryn, thanks!

Erin, I feel honoured :)

Lisa, you honour me too! I can think of no better company, and I'm glad you're here. :)

Rikkij said...

Rach-A lot of strength and security in these words. Very powerful imagery. ~rick

Catvibe said...

Rachel, this is an amazing marriage of metaphor making an exquisite description. Perfect.

Faith said...

Oh Rachel.. You do this so well. take my breath away with your words.

Char said...

Your words, as always, beg to be read and read again, savoring every one. Wonderful.

Aniquez de los mil luces said...

This was really wonderful Rachel. I've read it many times since morning.

It doesn't allow me to comment from my office PC on your blog. It has something to do with filters acting on certain themes.

You're amazing.

Julie said...

Excellent again! I love it a million times. You hooked me with the first line. Yes, that's a wonderful inversion of the line and play on language. And I LOVE the warm feral scent. Ending with a comparison of the narrator to a forest creature is an excellent contrast with the title. Dang, I could go on and on. What a powerful piece!

christopher said...

Heh. How can I resist the chase.

The Chase

Pepper heat stops me,
washes my eyes, nostrils flare,
I snuff the earth, search
for that trace of you
as my fur lifts and I scratch
my hide, ready now,
ready for you now.
I lope off trailing the scent
you've left just for me.

emptygarden said...

excellent!

Fat Arse said...

I have nothing to add but... wow!

RachelW said...

Oh, thank you all! :) You really make my day, all of you, with your kind and encouraging words.

And Christopher, well, you know... ;)

holly said...

So sensual...lovely sounds!