Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Refraction I

With just a whisper
the glass dropped from her hand
I found you standing on the stairs
and fell like shards of rain
one hand on the rail
across the tile floor
the other holding the soft blanket
and she caught her breath
thinly draped across your shoulders
as a large slice skipped by
I wondered how much you’d heard
singing like nothing but glass can
your eyes encrusted with sleep
and his fist swung like words
brow pressed warm by the pillow
Quiet, you’ll wake the children
abandoned how long ago?

Rachel Westfall
August 18, 2009


Linda S. Socha said...


Incredibly powerful. I live the play on scenerios and juxtaposition with words that create such imagery...

Incredible poem.

Karen said...

This is absolutely amazing! I love the two voices and the interplay of stories. You are immensely talented, as you continue to prove.

Rikkij said...

Rach- seems like a deeply personal thought. veiled. But makes me want to know what came before and aft. ~rick


Two stories enmeshed. Both veiled, both revealed.


Anonymous said...

Awesome!! :)

Fat Arse said...


This poem epitomizes why guys like me always know, deep down, that we are but amateurs with the form. Wonderful poem!

S.L. Corsua said...

I like how the voice keeps the reality just under the surface, understating it, just how marital abuse can be (and mostly is) in real life.

"his fist swung like words...
Quiet, you’ll wake the children"

Those lines can turn faces pale. (Made me shiver a bit.) Anyway, I most liked the "singing like nothing but glass can" part -- beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

RachelW said...

This was a bit of an experiment in form. Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. I'm glad the message was veiled but not lost; that's what I was hoping for. S.L., you've said exactly what I hoped would come through... thank you!

Woman in a Window said...

It was the
quiet, you'll wake the children
that got me.
Almost an excuse for the abuse before the assault even happened. Chilling.

Elise said...

Hello, just leaving you a comment as I've so enjoyed looking around your site and reading your lovely posts. Great pictures too !

Thank so much for sharing them and I hope you have a fab weekend (well, the rest of it anyway...)!

Best wishes to you

Catvibe said...

What I want to know is, were you a fly on the wall in the last fight I had during my marriage? Because this is pretty much exactly what happened. I love the way you weave two points of view this way. Amazing and well done.


Ah, Catvibe! You and me and a million other stong, successful women who'd be ashamed to admit it!