Saturday, October 3, 2009

Refraction II

And then you ran
my anger a shout

round cheeks unhappy
big sister to small

tear-stained and red
hollering in frustration

stumpy legs stomping
with a quick grab at your back

on down the hill
fingers sliding off

to snatch the wild asparagus
your thin cotton sundress

breaking it crudely
yellow as the sun

as you flew by
running not fast enough

a cloud of sand dust rising
to save us from the loss

choking out the promise
of rivalry’s vindictiveness

of that delicious treasure
that delicious treasure gone

Rachel Westfall
October 3, 2009


Nevine said...

I love the exchange between two different trains of thought... love it!

Anonymous said...

You're really kicking some serious butt at this experimentation, please keep going with it!

christopher said...

It's All Perspective

I circle above
cold eyed, clear sighted, spying
on the moment between
the two of you, knowing
you argue but seeing the dance
you perform at this height,
either of you are
simply too big to carry
to my waiting young.

Woman in a Window said...

The imagery is ripe, real, the snap of asparagus unlikely but perfect for me. The play, back and forth, so close, and yet so far. Loved this, Rachel.

Fireblossom said...

Thanks, Rachel, for the visit, the kind words, and the follow! Please forgive me for being so slow in returning your visit...(insert usual excuses here).

I love that title, "The Waxing Moon", and the explanation. I was a library rat as a child, too.

RachelW said...

Nevine, thanks! I'm enjoying exploring your blog... there's so much depth there, it will take me a little while to digest.

Joseph, thanks for the encouragement! :)

Christopher, haha, now that puts it all in perspective!

Erin, yeah, the ruined wild asparagus. I'll never forgive her. ;)

Fireblossom, welcome! I love your blog... just blogrolled you so I don't miss a thing. It's lovely to meet another library rat!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Wow - fascinating juxtaposition of thoughts that pool solidly into one image. The ruined asparagus - an analogy of so much in life. Love this.

Rikkij said...

Rach- I'll never think of asparagus the same. It will now be other things. Such a large picture painted here in a simple chase. ~rick

Karen said...

Relationships - especially those of siblings - can be so complicated. Love-Hate-Love-Resentment-Love-Regret-Love...You show it beautifully here.

Anonymous said...

I do like reading you Rachel. I am liking the fact that whenever I do, the images in my mind's eye are so clear.And the two line stanza works ten fold.